- 堕落街论坛 (http://duoluojie.1314179.com.cn:443/index.asp)
-- 心灵港湾 (http://duoluojie.1314179.com.cn:443/list.asp?boardid=26)
---- 一首小诗 (http://duoluojie.1314179.com.cn:443/dispbbs.asp?boardid=26&id=177913)
-- 发布时间：2007/11/11 18:13:00
-- 一首小诗
穿越
穿过烟雾缭绕 浑浊不堪的空气
穿过振聋发聩 地动山摇的音乐
你精灵的身躯在吧池中轻摇
有如瑶池中的那只丹顶鹤
有如广寒宫中的那只白玉兔
有如莲花池中的那只金丝雀
不用阴阳眼
依旧穿越尸魂界
不用五色光
依旧穿越阿修罗
不用七宝树
依旧穿越九重天
最重要的是
你已经穿越了我
不管多远
都站的我的身后
-- 发布时间：2007/11/11 20:03:00
--
这个恐怕要你用白话文注释一下更能引人入胜
想表达怎样的心情？在什么样的情形下发挥？描述什么样的境界？
-- 发布时间：2007/11/11 21:28:00
--
前段时间写的淫诗
-- 发布时间：2007/11/13 21:09:00
--
你被谁电到了？
-- 发布时间：2007/11/13 23:40:00
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加上注释,谢谢.
-- 发布时间：2007/11/14 18:35:00
--
呵呵
忘了，被谁啊
也许是猫猫捏
哈哈
-- 发布时间：2007/11/14 22:46:00
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汗，我什么时候成挡箭牌了？
-- 发布时间：2007/11/14 23:03:00
--
冒办法啊
你老是在那里晃啊晃的
-- 发布时间：2007/11/16 15:42:00
--
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-- 发布时间：2007/11/16 20:59:00
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这个也要注释？
不需要吧
在我看来
诗人描叙了这样一种奇遇
在某个热情的场合
某个有如命中注定的人
使诗人突然着了魔
。。。